It aches when your mum confides in you and pouring out things that you know you're too powerless to help.Its better to just stab ur heart out rather than seeing those pain in her eyes.I went thru that just now and honestly im not liking it one bit.I ate to my heart content trying to aside her pain and whatever she've told me but i failed and so here i am blogging.

Humans,i wonder who to blame.Clear check that God created Humans for a beautifull purpose so could/should all fingers pointed to the Devil?Being a strong believer that i am i dont like the idea of pointing my fingers at people,things or a soul.Its unhealthy in some way.Been observing people's movement for quite sometime now and as much as my mouth badly wanna shoot people down i tried my very best to keep numb.Practising the new hadith i came across.heh.

So anyways i realised the clock tick faster than i could have ever imagine,infact less than a week im turning 22.The last year i could behave childishly since the 23 sounded too adult.As much as im loving my life ticking and breathing day by day i do have this lil fear of entering the 30zone.Well i know i shouldnt have worry about that just as yet but i cant help myself thinking about it.I need to plan,serious planning.What i want in life and when i want to walk again.Its impossible laying any hope on people in this house as everyone seems to be busy with their own jobs etc.The man himself worn out most of the time and mum too too worn out by house chores.Yet people think and commented im not serious in getting well.If only i have the $$$$ i would hire someone.

I just hope i could finish my 14days before Ramadhan,its been playing in my head for days now and im accepting it with worries filling in my mind.Mom had been sharing the worries too but not for the same reason.Her worries is more to my raya outfits and my undrgrments.We dont have any of this problem years before bcos umi will be the one in charge of everything but this year zauj will be handling it all so there reasoned the worry.heh.

I cant wait for wednesday to come as i'll be learning something new.Will try to adjust with the new system.Pls God make things easier for and thank u for the feeling of things will be ok.

@ 6:15 PM

Honestly i've been staring the screen and the notepad trying to organised my thoughts and formed it into a simple entry.

Allow me to recap..last week had been a hectic smooth sailing week.We managed to get everything done with no pressure and less hiccups.All prepared and mentally we faced it with full confidence.Overwhelmed and thank god for the extra income but still God wont give you something extra without a purpose,right? Stocks needed to be updated.I guess thats that for work..hmmm.Oh oh before i forget i just wanna state here clearly to remind myself that Allah is great and HE clearly answers our prayers but it takes time as HE wants us to learn the beauty of PATIENCE.

As for myself i continued paying my fast and now its left with 14days to go.*headaches*.My menses is still going haywire and i've been grabbing every chance i could to pray,fast and do some Quran reading whenever im 'clean'.Im not complaining but im a lil worried though,at a young age and im facing irregular menses?!

Anyways my time is limited and well planned.heh.During the day i'll spent 3hrs for serious gaming..then at night 7.30pm i'll be glued down to my MioTv watching Kasamh Se.Its a half an hour show and after im done with that i'll continue with whatever things thats unfinished.heh.Limited aye?*roll eyes*.

Can you believe that we still havent buy the book shelves.Oh God,we really sucks in handling our finance.Like this month,thank God for the GSS $,i managed to settle most bills and left with Starhub Bill.But but im grinning as my hp bill this month caused my jaw to drop,heh,its only $50.Yes..every mnth the range will be from $60-$150.No joke..so imagine how delighted i was when i saw $50.*smiles widely*.

Hmmmm..

Finally i watched Transformers:Revenge Of The Fallen.Seriously im going to poured out my heart desire,very detailed on how i watched the 2hr30min show.I remembered warning myself that i wont drink aplenty as my medication may cause fatal if i sipped a drink too many.So we went in xcited and disappointed as i was placed a staircase away from my loved ones as im on a wheelcair *roll eyes* .Thats not all to make it worse behind me there seated a group of teenager boys who eventually spoiled my entire mood.*bleargh*.I totally understand their "fun" attitude but still cant there be any maturity in the cells or something?!My wheelchair were hit a couple of times and their remarks sounded more like we're watching a "Blue" movie.Cant help it that there's crude and sexual scenes which i believe excites the hrmones of these teenagers but look around boys we have families and kiddos so mind it will ya.

After an hour of the show i felt my own show.Yes my bladder decides to pry me.Slowly it formed into a full pool that caused a sharp pain at my abdomen.I felt like crying..i nearly gave up and wanna walk out on the show but zauj and ahun stopped me by ignoring me.*tsk*.I told myself that im going to sit thru this show since i wanted to watch it sooo much.And you should know that this crazy girl pulled it thru and cried the aftermath of holding back the 'fulled pool'.I was sooo amazed at myself that i kept repeating the story over and over again to zauj,like as if he didnt witnessed any of that.*lol*.BumbleBee blew my heart away.

Err i wonder if zauj could be my BumbleBee,afterall i called him 'B'.*wondering*.Zauj said that if im soo into BumbleBee he is more than happy to get it for me.*bleargh*.I aint falling for that and im not hoping of that either as thats not what i actually want..besides with my bday nearing that man have the wildest imagination for a gift.
*roll eyes*

Had dinner with kala and the kids,i love spending time with the kiddos and recently i practised some readings with them.Benefits both side i believe.At the moment they're obsessed with PetSociety so in return i asked them to read me simple surahs,they really go all out for it and at the same time it brushes my reading as well.heh.

Well my break starts from today till thursday.And i hate doing some errands.*blueks*.So much of a break.tsk.


@ 3:30 AM